Words of Deception

Please tell me what should I believe in right now? Your words that you speak of or the actions that you're showing? I'm lost and I don't wish to lose my temper either. I've been on my toes for the past few days trying to get everything done. My projects, my exams, my revisions; I am trying to juggle everything around so I could take out time for you, to spend some time with you but in the end, you kept falling asleep. I guess I have to be understanding due to the time difference and you're highly exhausted today after taking care of your grandma. I should understand yet you kept denying you weren't sleeping, it's been almost an hour since you've fallen asleep. Your denial doesn't please me, it only saddens me to know that you're lying. I don't know what to say or do~ I just gave up telling you to go and rest if you're tired, because in the end you'll just snap back at me saying you're not tired or sleeping when I knew you fell asleep. Please stop denying the fact you're tired, please stop denying that you wish to go out...I know you well enough to judge. But every single time you deny, it just makes me go berserk because to me, there's no difference to lying. I can't pretend not acknowledge the fact you're exhausted and pretending that you're not.

It's been almost a week, we've been speaking for less than 2 hours. What can I say~ nothing...I guess I'll just concentrate on my studies instead of thinking about you because at the end of the day, I'm the one having to endure the consequences if I pass or fail this semester against my parents. I can't say I miss you anymore, because I'll be lying. I can't say our love is as strong as it was anymore, because I know I'll be lying. Everything have changed, all the sweet moments have dissolved so quickly till the extend I didn't even know there wasn't any sweet moments anymore. I can't make you happy, all I do is get you frustrated not knowing what to do with me when my emotions go berserk. I don't know what to do anymore right now...

Studies studies studies~ I just can't do it...I'm mixing F&B + Room Division together :( Not a very good combination. I've been doing all the jobs for the group, this is making me insane! I can't get these things right anymore..I have to do my Geopolitic Journal by weekend and my Room Division presentation by weekend. Not forgetting my Room Division report =.=" I still have my portfolio to do as well!!! This is sickening~ I feel like giving up. I can't handle everything right now!!