Stupid arguments, stupid trivial matters are always ignited by me~ It is was like WORLD WAR II or III between love and I. I just don't like this feeling anymore, I hate how they are judging me all the time and making me feel so darn ass guilty!! Why should I comprehend or endure what they are saying all the time? I'm not them, why must I listen and comprehend their endless cold humor that are not even funny to me but only to them? Sometimes I really feel like giving up on everything~ I don't wish to study, I don't wish to have arguments, I don't wish to have so much problems in a relationship but what can I do? I can't stop myself from doing all these endless nonsensical bullshit that cause all these ridiculous yet horrendous tribulation between love and I.
I really wish to cry, I really wish to break down. And to think I'm having fever again. Does he even know? Does even care? I know he does. But why do I keep thinking he is not standing up for me when his friends were saying shit? How do I feel? I feel inferior and like a by-stander!! I hate this feeling, I really do and I really wish to end it all some times. I'm sorry but the humors are intolerable. I am not a person who is outgoing or whatsoever, I don't withstand jokes I do not comprehend at all. It is too difficult for me...I will just admit I'm slow in the head like a snail but I don't care. I am who I am.
Just stop saying I changed him because I didn't~ I don't wish to hear it anymore. I swear I'm breaking down slowly and soon I'll completely breakdown if I continue with enduring the anger bear within me. I am in tears~ the heart is bleeding...tell me what can I do because it hurts so badly inside. I don't wish to quarrel, I don't wish to argue, I just don't wish to scream at you or raise my voice. I am going to break down sooner or later I SWEAR!! This tearing me apart so badly. I don't want all these to happen at all. I hate it. I loathe it. I detest everything that is happening right now. I just can't take it with all these attacks :(
Please forgive me for all the yelling, but I can't endure all at one go!! I'm stressing myself out for endless nonsensical thoughts. I'm sorry my love. Maybe we need sometime first to understand each other~ :'(
No comments:
Post a Comment